Нашла записи из прошлой жизни, писала в Лондоне в 2005 году, будучи там по работе, кто по-английски читает, легко догадается на какой. Зачем-то решила показать. Воспоминания нахлынули, стара и сентиментальна стала.
Here I am, again –
Sitting in a smelly hotel room,
Ignoring the buzz of a big city,
Doing nothing of big significance,
Missing my man and my family,
Reading a paperback,
Staring into the mirror
At myself, a woman of 36,
Two children, divorced,
Today is the time of peace.
I am going to war tomorrow.
Question and Answer sessions,
Death, Chechnya, violation of human rights,
Murderous policies of various governments,
Terrorism, Beslan, the Kremiln and Putin…
Words will be falling around like rocks,
To hit and to splash and to target
And here I am, in the middle of all this,
A very inefficient assistant,
Interpreter and who knows what else.
I am trying to see a big picture
But I don´t see the mankind, only some people.
None of them purely good or evil,
All of them human,
None of them perfect.
But me, oh I am so lucky
Just to be sitting in a smelly hotel room
Away from the war and the death and the torture,
Unconcerned about my human rights
Unafraid of the night and uncertainty of my tomorrows,
Wishing for Monday to come
And to rescue me from the big city,
The beautiful language, the job, the compassion,
The helplessness and the tears
I am shedding in secret about the dead and the suffering,
The martyrs of civil wars
I have never even met.
London, St Peters hotel, November 2005